RAVENOUS: A Reflection on Intimacy, Desire, and Receivership
desireandconnection emotionalintimacy intimacyissues modernlove ravenouslove receivership relationshipreflections sacredconnection sensualhealing touchismylovelanguage Jul 28, 2025
Ravenous
I want you like hunger wants flesh—
not gently, not politely,
but with the wild eyes of famine
and a mouth full of ache.
Your scent is the spark
that sets the beast in me burning,
a slow-roasted torment
dripping down my throat.
I imagine you—
skin flushed, pulse loud,
my name half-swallowed in your moan—
and suddenly the world is nothing
but a feast I haven’t tasted yet.
I want teeth on lip,
fingers buried, backs arched.
I want to consume every breath you take
and give it back,
drenched in desire.
No apologies.
No restraint.
Only the slick sound
of need meeting need,
and the way our bodies
forget themselves
in the fire.
I don’t want dessert.
I want ruin.
I want you,
starved and begging,
as ravenous as me.
I was having a beautiful discussion with one of my clients when the subject of values came up. Values often sit at the heart of many conversations around relationships — but this one felt different.
We were speaking about intimacy and desire. I was sitting back, listening deeply — as you do — and the word ravenous came to mind. That’s when I found myself saying:
“A relationship should be — and feel — ravenous.”
Many of us express connection differently. For those of us who are more tactile, whose love language is rooted in touch and physical closeness, this word may resonate profoundly.
When I imagine an ideal relationship, the desire, the lust, the need and want I feel for my partner is ravenous.
It’s as if I’ve been starved of something for months. And when I finally have the chance to receive it — it’s like the man who hasn’t eaten in days. The moment the meal is in front of him, all logic vanishes. He’s consumed by a single focus:
To satiate the hunger in his body.
That’s what intimacy feels like to me. And it’s not by accident — I’ve conditioned this feeling within myself.
It’s not just a reflection of who I am — it’s the modality through which I love.
There is a deep, primal yearning in me for the other. One that can feel like dissociation from the rest of the world.
My mind, my soul, my hands, my lips — everything is drawn to them. Everything is focused on this devotion to contact.
And here’s the thing — this isn’t a problem.
When the other is open to receiving it.
Receivership.
Let’s come back to that word.
When we have a partner who can truly receive this intensity — who isn’t afraid of it, who doesn’t shrink or deflect or shame it — what gets created is rare:
An unignorable connection. A kind of sacred magnetism.
One that commands presence, because it cannot be distracted from.
But when the other cannot receive this, or can only receive it inconsistently, something painful happens.
We begin to lose ourselves.
It’s like someone is slowly dimming the lights. But instead of it becoming sensual or atmospheric, it feels like a dimming of our light.
A quiet suffocation of our expression.
Our lifeforce.
This is when we begin to go numb.
Not overnight. But over months, years.
A long burn. A slow, invisible grief.
Until eventually, we disconnect — and sometimes there’s no way back.
Unless...
Unless we learn to redirect this ravenous energy.
And we do that through creation — a project, a vision, something that makes us feel alive again.
But let’s be honest — even these pursuits, though sacred, are sometimes just ways to bide time until we can reconnect with what we truly want:
To be met in the ravenous.
The truth is — this fire inside us is not destructive.
What we call destruction is often just a final attempt to ignite the fire in the other.
To shake them. To wake them.
To ask with our whole being:
Are you willing to receive me?
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