Igniting the Spark: Increasing Desire in Your Relationship
Introduction
Do you yearn for your relationship to once again be filled with passion and desire? Do you long for the exhilarating moments of intimacy and connection that came so easily in the beginning? In long-term partnerships, desire will inevitably ebb and flow, but that doesn't mean you can't reignite the flame that once blazed so fiercely. As Alan Watts famously said, "But the attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be." In this article, we will explore practical methods for boosting desire, promoting closeness, and forging passionate relationships, drawing inspiration from renowned thinkers such as David Deida, James Allen, and David Hawkins.
Understanding the Dynamics of Desire
As David Deida wisely observed, "Desire is energy seeking completion." Understanding the intricate nature of desire within a relationship is crucial before we look at ways to pique it. Emotional connection, physical attraction, communication, and overall relationship satisfaction are some of the aspects that affect desire. Stress, routine, and the difficulties of daily living can cause changes over time. However, you may rekindle the flame of desire and develop a deeper, more intimate connection with your partner with conscious effort and a willingness to put work into your relationship.
Cultivating Emotional Intimacy
In a relationship, emotional connection serves as the foundation for desire and passion. As James Allen profoundly stated, "A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life." When couples feel emotionally connected and supported, it creates an environment conducive to heightened desire and a stronger bond. Here are some ideas for increasing emotional intimacy:
1. Open and Honest Communication: As Alan Watts emphasized, "No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now." Communicate with your partner about your feelings, desires, and worries. Make a comfortable environment for open discourse and active listening.
2. Quality Time: As David Hawkins pointed out, "The presence of love will change us." Make time each week for meaningful talks, shared activities, and increasing your emotional connection. Embrace the power of presence and engage fully with your partner.
3. Express Appreciation: Florence Scovel Shinn once said, "The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best; therefore, it tends to become the best." Thank your companion and acknowledge their efforts and characteristics. Small acts of praise can go a long way toward increasing emotional intimacy.
Spicing Up Physical Intimacy
In a relationship, physical closeness is a crucial component of desire. Exploring new experiences and strengthening physical connections can help to rekindle the flame between partners. David Deida reminds us, "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." Consider the following strategies:
1. Engage in Novel and Exciting Activities Together: As Alan Watts suggested, "This is the real secret of life—to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now." Engage in activities that add novelty and excitement to your relationship. This could range from trying a new activity to going on new trips together.
2. Make Sensual Touch a Priority: James Allen once said, "The body is the servant of the mind." Incorporate sensual touch into your regular encounters. To heighten anticipation and desire, hold hands, cuddle, and indulge in non-sexual physical contact. As David Deida emphasizes, "In a real relationship, your sexual essence is just as powerful outside the bedroom as it is inside."
3. Experiment with Fantasy and Role-Play: As David Deida encourages, "Take the essence of your sexual fantasy and live it. That is your offering to your beloved." Discuss your fantasies and desires with your partner, and if both parties are comfortable, try out some role-playing. This can bring an exciting and unique element to your physical intimacy.
Rekindling Desire Outside the Bedroom
Desire does not exist exclusively within the four walls of the bedroom. Outside of sexual encounters, cultivating desire can have a major impact on the overall passion in your relationship. David Deida reminds us, "The way you communicate is the way you make love." Consider the following approaches:
1. Shared Interests: As David Hawkins noted, "If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack." Find activities or interests that you and your partner enjoy and make time for them. Shared experiences and common interests deepen your bond and allow desire to blossom.
2. Surprising and spontaneous acts of compassion: James Allen once said, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so shall he be." Surprise your partner with modest gestures or acts of kindness. Plan unexpected date evenings or surprise adventures to keep the element of surprise alive. As Allan Watts famously stated, "The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
3. Maintain the Flirtation: David Deida reminds us, "Your capacity to be intimate with your lover depends upon your capacity to be intimate with yourself." Flirting should not be limited to the early phases of a relationship. Even in regular situations, maintain a fun and flirtatious dynamic with your companion. It can build anticipation and sustain desire. As James Allen said, "You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."
FAQs about Increasing Desire in Your Relationship
Q1: Is it usual for long-term couples to experience a decline in desire?
A1: Yes, fluctuating desire is frequent in long-term relationships. You may, however, renew the enthusiasm with effort and open communication. As David Deida suggests, "Embrace the problems that come with love."
Q2: What if my partner has different levels of desire than I do?
A2: It's critical to have an open and honest discussion regarding desire differences. Understanding each other's requirements and reaching a compromise can help bridge the gap. As Allan Watts wisely said, "Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone."
Q3: Is it possible to improve overall relationship pleasure by raising desire?
A3: Rekindling desire frequently leads to higher relationship satisfaction since it develops deeper emotional and physical connections between partners. As David Hawkins observed, "The highest levels of performance come to people who are centered, intuitive, creative, and reflective."
Conclusion
Increasing desire in your relationship involves planning, effort, and a willingness to try new ways of connecting. You may reignite the fire and establish a fulfilling, dynamic relationship by prioritizing emotional closeness, spicing up physical intimacy, and fostering desire outside of the bedroom. Remember that every relationship is different, and it may take some time to figure out what works best for you and your spouse. As David Deida reminds us, "You can open to God through sex and you can open to sex through God." Accept the journey of rediscovering desire and revel in the restored connection that results. As James Allen profoundly stated, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Embrace the power of your thoughts and intentions in manifesting the passionate relationship you desire.
