Anal Sex Preparation, Communication, and Tips for a Safe and Pleasurable Experience
There is a lot of preparation needed when embarking on anal sex. As a starting point before agreements and consent has been established and a “safe word” to stop when needing to stop, is the question of douching. As what comes with the territory the anus is not fundamentally designed for penetration even though we can have an anal orgasm either as a woman or a man.
So we start with cleanliness and douche first, this will make the process a lot smoother and cleaner and more connected. Once we have that out of the way, it is always good practice to start with priming the anus or disarming the tension in the anus using our fingers to gently place pressure around the opening or rim of the anus so we are assisting the mind to connect with the feelings in the body.
The moment we go to fast and trigger the mind to connect fear or pain with the anus being toyed with then you are going to have a greater problem in achieving full penetration with your partner. Solo play is also a great way of entering into the space because it allows you full control of what you are penetrating yourself with. The next consideration is an amazing lube!! Remember this cardinal rule… Lube lube lube.
How can you have a conversation with your partner to make sure you're both comfortable and on the same page?
Like every conversation around sex and sexuality, safety and trust are two components that need to be stressed at all times. The moment we do not have these components within the relationship then we run risk of hurting ourselves not only physically but psychologically and emotionally too.
Aim to be as transparent with your partner as possible, and introduce the concept and enquire into their thoughts and opinions around anal sex. You are either going to get resistance or curiosity. In the case of resistance, explore this with them and try and understand their position before imposing your need to have anal sex. Once you have heard and understood your partners position then you can introduce the idea of your desire to try and explore the space.
What types of lube are best? Why?
There are many lubricants designed for anal sex as many of these have a slight numbing action which prevents the seizing up of the anus and allows for a more relaxed and fluid feel. Looking into silicone base lubricant is wonderful and there are various textures that are either thicker in feel or more smooth and silky. The best advice for lubricant is try as many as you can until you find the right one for you and your partner.
How does lube reduce risk of injury whether you're using sex toys or human parts?
You are fundamentally wanting to explore an area that is not self-lubricating like a vulva, and with so many nerve endings coming into one little place by using lubricant you lessen the risk of blood vessels breaking which I partly the reason why there is a higher risk for STI’s via anal sex. So reducing injury also means safe sex and safe sex is maintained when there is good hygiene, good lubrication and being protected with a condom or dental dam.
Tips for communicating with your partner before, during, and after.
The before is always about building trust and safety, and a simple question you can ask is: how can I help make you feel more at ease or safe in your body when you are with me? If the individual does not know how to express themselves, you can gently explore and always check in with them to ask how does that feel. When you are engaged in the during process, checking in is still important and what I’d always suggest is looking at the non-verbal cues.
Face grimaces that are not your partners norm, or sudden movements in the body… these all need to be understood and taken care of. The after is always about after care. This can come in many forms and should also be discussed with your partner as to how they would like to be cared for.
This could be anything from cuddles to kisses to a simple conversation or not and just holding them while they process their emotions. The key is communication. Tips to make anal sex pain-free Anal sex can be an experience with lessened pain when we make the erotic connection in our mind and with the feeling in our anus.
A consideration to keep in mind is our partners girth and strength of erection. Always remember that when penetrating the penis needs to be as hard as a rock as there is a greater chance of hurting your partner if this is not the case. A flaccid penis will steer off the penetration and can shock your partner who is receiving it.
This will in essence cause pain which can be reduced with a great lubricant, but it is still vital to ensure this. Taking your time is essential too. Do not rush something that can be incredibly enjoyable and also do not give into your animalistic lust and start pounding away. Take guidance from your partner and move step by step until they are conditioned to your size and movement.
Vaya Con Dios
